reasons why this is the most important show on television
that sounds exhausting im sorry
they killed them after they stabbed them 666 times? how does that much stabbing not kill someone all on its own?
do you think any of them lost count?
“476, 477, 479… wait shit. steve, i think i fucked up. do i start over?”
what the hell is wrong with this website
Instead of doing all that work, couldn’t they have just killed three Russian teenagers and stabbed them each six times? That would be much easier.
Tumblr: where we criticize satan worshippers, not for killing people, but for the unnecessary amount of effort they put into doing it.
when people mock you for your shitty vision
- author: she didn't want to eat dinner because she doesn't like chicken noodle soup
- english teacher: even though it doesn't say it, we can infer that 17 years ago she encountered an attack from chickens while on a trip to africa visiting her great aunt who was dying from pneumonia which she got from chickens that were being harvested for the great feast
- tumblr: lol fukin stupid teacher
- loki: blinks
- tumblr: do you see this? do you see that blink? that fucking blink. it shows how much pain he has inside of him. look at him. all he wants is his father to love him. look at the tears that he is holding back. he's never been the favorite son, he always knew that he didn't belong. this is the fucking blink that makes me love loki. he's not a villain. he's just a scared, lonely child.
NO “TELEPHONES”. TALK TO EACH OTHER. FACE TO FACE ONLY. WRITE A LETTER. SEND A TELEGRAM TO YOUR MOM. PRETEND IT’S 1860. LIVE.
NO ‘WRITING’… TALK TO EACH OTHER. THROW A ROCK AT YOUR MOM. PRETEND IT’S 10,000 BCE. LIVE.
URGGA. ROU GRAAURH. RUH.
<SMACKS HANDS ON WALL WITH PAINT.>
NO ‘HIGHER BRAIN FUNCTIONS’ …USE YOUR REPTILIAN BRAIN
EAT YOUR MOM’S CORPSE SHE DIED TO PROVIDE YOU WITH SUSTENANCE
PRETEND YOU HAVE JUST AROSE FROM THE SEA
NO “MULTICELLULAR TRAITS”….. USE YOUR SYMBIOTIC MITOCHONDRIA
REPRODUCE ASEXUALLY, YOU’RE YOUR OWN PARENT
PRETEND IT’S 2BYA
NO “LIFE.” USE FUNDAMENTAL PHYSICAL FORCES TO FORM SPHERICAL OBJECTS REVOLVING AROUND ONE ANOTHER IN SPACE.
FUSE HYDROGEN INTO HELIUM USING GRAVITATIONAL PRESSURE TO PRODUCE HEAT AND LIGHT.
PRETEND IT’S 4.5BYA.
STABILIZE INTO EQUILIBRIA
"I am an artist" i say as i continue to draw the same character in the same pose facing the same direction
I’m a writer, but I continue to write about the same two characters putting the same dicks into the same buttholes
"No man ever puts his dick in the same butthole twice, for it’s not the same butthole and he’s not the same man." - Heraclitus Of Ephesus
fuck this post in particular
Ethiopian girl guarded from gang rape & assault by three lions.
“The girl had been taken by seven men who wanted to force her to marry one of them. She was beaten repeatedly. Then the lions chased off her captors. The three lions guarded her for about half a day. They stood guard until we found her and then they just left her like a gift and went back into the forest.”
Then, Stuart Williams (the local wildlife ‘expert’) suggests that perhaps the lions mistook the 12 year old girl’s cries for a lion cub. Which seems awfully silly, considering that lions are perfectly capable of telling apart the gazelles they eat from their own cubs, aren’t they?
if fuckin lions know that rape is bad then so should you
- Zeus: im gonna put my dick in it
- Everyone: dont put ur dick in it
- Zeus: toO LaTE
If a girl is to do the same superman thing where he takes off his disguise, we just look pervy. Not the same effect
First of all: bullshit.
Secondly: If you are not doing the Linda Carter spin, then you’re doing it wrong.
I’ve fallen in love
I certify this 100% Amazonian and awesome.
Smash the World’s Shell
Definitely, we’re really good friends. Unfortunately, we’ve both been very busy, we haven’t been able to see each other but we’ve texted a bunch. We’re always in constant communication though. She’s SO amazing, I couldn’t imagine doing this series with any other person, she’s such a great person, and she’s so talented and so beautiful and so genuine and real. I’m so thankful that I have her. — Josh Hutcherson.